Raven Tripping
by psychotol
Summary: A Teen Titans Brainiac: Science Abuse crossover where Beastboy ends the world and Robin doesn't seem to care.Was a one off, but I got more, Raven retaliates, so enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Constraints: any time during the series.

Synopsis: Beastboy does something a touch stupid.

Raven Tripping.

Content: Erm … … well, let me put it this way, I'm laughing my ass off, so it's probably gonna be bad.

Legal: Teen Titans belongs to Warner Brothers, Brainiac belongs to Sky One.

* * *

Scene: Teen Titans kitchen. 

Beast Boy: walks on screen carrying a bottle with a pipette lid.

Voice of god: "STOP!"

Scene: freezes.

Screen splits between that already described and Robin standing on the roof, the city behind him.

Robin: "The following experiment is dangerous and should not be attempted. For your own safety and the protection of those around you: Do not, try this, at home."

Screen: unsplits.

Scene: resumes normal speed for a second, the freezes again.

Screen: splits to a closer shot of Robin focusing on his face.

Robin: "No really: Don't."

Screen: unsplits again.

Scene: resumes.

Beast Boy: Finds Raven's herbal tea and starts soaking each bag in a pre-measured quantity from the bottle.

Robin: off screen "Lysergic Acid Diethylamide is a hallucinogen, it causes people to experience hallucinations. These can be enjoyable, they can also, in the case of a bad trip, be really really scary."

Fade to: the same scene later, Beast Boy is gone.

Raven: walks over to the kettle and turns it on while she selects a teabag from her stores and waits for the kettle to boil.

Robin: "Raven is part demon, her magical abilities are partly controlled by her emotions."

The kettle boils and clicks off.

Raven: pours the hot water into the cup with the teabag.

A few minutes later Raven removes and disposes of the teabag and starts to sip the tea.

Cut to: a shot of the milky way from a distance.

Milky way: seems to switch off it's stars much like you see cities shutting off in the movies, block by block.

The galaxy is then consumed by a tentacle storm originating from Sol.

Cut to: Raven (upper half of her body), who seems to be asleep on the floor of some chamber resembling the alien spacecraft off the movie Alien.

Raven: Slowly wakes up, looks around alarmed, then looks down at her legs, she sighs and says "I'm going to kill beast boy if I haven't already."

The scene is expanded to show Raven's lower half has become a mess of tentacles that spread out all over the floor behind her.

Robin: Off screen "We do these experiments so you don't have to. Do not, try this, at home."


	2. Chapter 2

Constraints: any point in the series.

Synopsis: Raven plays a rather silly joke on Beastboy.

Dial O for Osama.

Content: Dangerous experiments.

Legal: Teen Titans belongs to Warner Brothers, I am not them, this is not a real episode, Brainiac belongs to Sky One, this is also not a real Brainiac episode either.

--

Scene: the park, Raven is floating over the peak of a hill with a phone book and a box for a cell phone on her lap, in her hands are the cell phone and the manual, she is reading the manual.

Raven: Addressing the reader "There are a lot of rules that have been made up for the use of certain appliances today, but what about the rules they don't write? Take a cell phone for example," reads the manual "No operating the cell phone in a hospital as this can disrupt equipment essential to sustaining a person's life, use is prohibited on a gas station forecourt as it creates an explosion hazard, and using it on an airline,-" turned to reader again "-Well … just don't … But what it doesn't warn you about is using it to call certain individuals wanted by the department of Homeland Security," she moves the box over to her knee as she takes the phonebook and opens it.

Cut to: close up of Ravens' finger as it goes up and down the page until she finds the number for Laden, Osama Bin.

Cut to: normal view.

Raven: Programs the number into the cell phone and looks up at the reader again "Let's see what happens."

--

Scene: another part of the park where Beast boy is watching a bunch of ducks fight in a pond.

Raven appears somewhere behind him with the phone and floats it over to him, pressing send just as it reaches his pocket.

Scene: Splits, Osama (walking with a bunch of other terrorists and heavily loaded pack mules in tow along the Afghan mountains) occupies the other half of the screen.

One of the mules starts ringing, and Osama grabs a suitcase out of one of the packs on the mules, he opens it and answers "Hello?"

Beastboy: Realises he's heard something.

Scene: splits again, we now see a shot of some guy in a sharp black suit sat at a computer.

Raven: Offscreen "The department of Homeland security has in it's possession equipment that looks for keywords, and calls to suspicious or wanted persons."

The computer emits a single musical note and he looks to another part of the screen.

He then picks up his own phone and starts talking to someone apparently on a frigate.

Scene: Splits again, we now also see the sheltered command deck of a frigate where the ships captain is talking on the phone and is also directing his staff.

Raven: Offscreen "The phone's location once ascertained can be used to direct a strike."

The ship scene changes and the frigate starts launching missiles.

Raven: Offscreen "Beastboy has just attracted several billions of dollars worth of ordnance to his location. And, it's a monday"

Beastboy: finds the phone "Hello?"

Osama: "Al Qaeda, Osama speaking."

Beastboy: "Ohhhh … kayyyyyyy, I must have accidentally activated my phone, sorry about th- HEY, you're not that terrorist leader everyone's after are you?"

Suddenly a whole bunch of explosions happen.

Osama: reacts to a painful noise on his phone and listens.

Osama's phone: emits three ascending notes "The phone you were connected to no longer exists, please try again later with a Ouija Board."

Osama: shrugs and hangs up.

Scene: unsplits leaving just the scene where the explosions are continuing to occur.

Raven: offscreen "So, it may not tell you this in the manual, but take it from us, don't call people wanted by homeland security from your cellphone."

Pan to: Starfire floating somewhere off to the side in the distance holding a series of A1 sized signs, the first one has 'Do not' written on it.

Raven: "Oh yeah,-"

Starfire: Drops the signs as raven speaks revealing her words in written form.

Raven: "-Do not, try this, at home."

End.


End file.
